So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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