Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
