just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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