She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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