And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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