youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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