is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
