Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
