Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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