Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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