im having a threesome with these popsicles
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
