I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
