pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
