in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am midnight drunk by noon
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize