i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
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you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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