like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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