i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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