You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
