Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
