Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
