I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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