I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
