it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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