i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
