I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
