you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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