I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
