wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
