My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
