my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
