So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
