You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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