there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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