He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
