i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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