I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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