one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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