I'm really into asian looking animals
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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