I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
