I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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