:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
