I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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