I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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