I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize