dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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