he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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