Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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