Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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