She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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