he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize