This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
