my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
