Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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