I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
PANTIES FOUND
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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