dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
