this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
