Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
