Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
