i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
