don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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