Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
