it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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